


Philosophical Zombies

by mywrittensins



Category: the GazettE (Band)
Genre: Flirting, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Philosophical Pondering, Sexual Content, Uruha's a flirty piece of shit and Kai's kinda into it, and when I say kinda I mean really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:47:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22182805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mywrittensins/pseuds/mywrittensins
Summary: Philosophical Zombie: A hypothetical entity that acts and appears indistinguishable from a human being but is lacking in its own conscious experience.Or;Uruha gets really philosophical when he's had sugar. Kai is more than happy to humor him if it leads somewhere more "pleasurable" for the both of them
Relationships: Kai/Uruha (the GazettE)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	Philosophical Zombies

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2 of a series of short drabbles I'll be doing to cure my writer's block. I'm forcing myself to write these quickly so they're not my best work. Unbeta-ed as well

"Okay but hear me out-" Uruha hums around the glob of chocolate in his mouth. He's got his knees pulled up to his chest, toes curled over the edge of the chair. "How do I know... like, how do I _know_ that you exist?"

Kai raises one eyebrow, thoroughly unamused.

"Like- how do I know that you're real and that you're not just a figment of my imagination? Or that the whole world is?" Uruha continues, spurred on by Kai's single eyebrow. "Because like-" he takes another bite of chocolate. "-Like, people see things that aren't real all the time. And we call them crazy. But how do I know that I'm not crazy? How do I know that I'm not just imagining everything that's happening to me right now but I don't think I'm crazy because there are people that I'm imagining who are imagining things way crazier than what I'm imagining? So like what I'm imagining compared to what I'm imagining they're imagining makes me seem like I'm not imagining anything at all." 

When he looks back up from his chocolate-stained fingers, Kai has that glazed look in his eyes that he sometimes gets when Uruha's tangent gets too convoluted for him to follow, leaving him hopelessly lost. 

Uruha reaches for a napkin. "Okay, hear me out," he repeats and waits for the glazed look to fade. "I know that I'm real. And you know that you're real, right?" 

Kai sighs and nods. "Yes, I know I'm real. So if I know I'm real and you know you're real, then why would you question whether you're imagining me? I'm real," he retorts. 

"Okay, but-" Uruha stops him with a finger. "How do _I_ know that _you're_ real? How do I know that you're not just _saying_ that you're real to trick me into thinking you are? How do I know that I'm not just imagining that you're saying your real? Like you're some... some philosophical zombie and my brain is telling me that you're real out of some deep-rooted fear of being completely alone in the universe?"

Kai stares at him for a long time.

Or at least, it feels like a long time. It's probably closer to five minutes.

Or thirty seconds, if Uruha is being both objective and realistic.

Then his expression softens and a small smile appears on his lips.

"Have you tried the caramel chocolate yet?" He hums, gesturing to the box of assorted chocolates that's sitting on the table between them. Uruha pouts, disappointed at the lack of an answer. Kai's smile widens. He picks up a piece of the caramel chocolate and beckons Uruha with two fingers.

Uruha's pout deepens, but he listens, climbing out of his chair to crawl back into his boyfriend's lap. There's a fuzzy little joyful feeling in his chest when Kai presses the piece of chocolate to his lips and he happily complies, letting Kai push the chocolate onto his tongue.

"It's good," he mumbles around the gooey sweet and Kai looks smug as he pulls his fingers away. 

"Yeah?" he hums and Uruha nods, swallowing and leaning in to kiss that smug smirk off of his boyfriend's lips. His hands slide up Kai's chest as Kai's arms wrap around his waist, pulling him closer. Uruha parts his lips, letting their tongues meet, and when Kai pulls away, he's licking chocolate and caramel from his lips.

That's hot. 

"So, what brought all this on?" Kai hums, amusement sparkling in his eyes. Uruha shrugs, and Kai's face suddenly turns serious. "You're not actually worried that you're alone in the universe, right?" 

He's not.

Uruha shakes his head.

Although- on second thought...

"Good," Kai announces, breaking Uruha's train of thought. "Cause you're not." 

"I know," Uruha says quickly, hiding a smile at how quickly his boyfriend gets concerned over his mental well-being. 

That's hot too.

"So then, what's up?" 

Uruha shrugs. "I guess I was just thinking..." he hums, biting his lip and trailing a finger up Kai's neck. "There's like no possible way that you're real." 

"Yeah? And why's that?" Kai recognizes that tone in his boyfriend's voice. The smirk returns to his face, and now there's a heat in his eyes that has Uruha suppressing a shiver. Uruha lets his own lips curl into a coy smile.

"You're just so intelligent, and talented, and caring, and attractive, not to mention that you have a great-" Uruha stops himself, eyes flickering down to Kai's crotch and then back up. "-well, you know. You're perfect. Pretty much the embodiment of 14-year-old Kouyou's wet dreams." 

Kai laughs under his breath. "I think you're forgetting some of the key flaws to my personality," Kai teases. 

"Yeah? Like what?"

Kai raises an eyebrow in amusement again. "You're really gonna make me say it?" 

"Yeah." Uruha grins. " _Convince me_." 

Kai chuckles and looks up in thought. "I guess, I can be a bit of a hothead. And I'm controlling sometimes, I micromanage. I'm impatient, and I can be pretty full of myself." 

Uruha can't help but giggle. "And?" 

"And?" Kai sighs dramatically.

"And?"

"And... I guess I can be a bit of a sadist." 

Uruha smirks. "A bit," he teases. Kai pinches his thigh in retaliation and Uruha flinches and bites back a moan. "But who says I'm not into that?" 

Kai grins, hands creeping up his boyfriend's thighs. "So I guess I haven't managed to convince you that I'm real?" 

Uruha gives him a smile to match. "Not in the slightest." He trails his hands back down Kai's chest and along the abs he always keeps hidden beneath baggy t-shirts. "Yeah," he sighs absentmindedly in his admiration. "Definitely a figment of my imagination." 

Kai lets him marvel for a moment longer before he suddenly slides his hands around to Uruha's ass and yanks him close. Uruha yelps in surprise, a spike of arousal shooting through his body. Before he can make another sound, Kai kisses him with a ferocity that makes his toes curl, fingers grabbing onto the drummer's belt. Kai rolls their hips together, wrenching a moan from Uruha's lips. "Does that feel real?" He purrs and rolls his hips again. He slides his hands up underneath Uruha's boxers and Uruha nods eagerly, another moan catching in his throat. "Real enough to convince you?" 

"I don't know..." Uruha pants, eyes bright with heat and goading mischief. He's still smiling. Kai digs his fingers hard into the meat of his ass, sure to leave bruises, and Uruha's dick jumps. 

He loves it when Kai leaves bruises.

The drummer levels him with another smirk then, breath hot against Uruha's lips, a promise in his eyes.

"Guess I'll have to try harder." 

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be all fluff... completely pg... 
> 
> oops


End file.
